Selecting Attendants

I've talked about this before, but with so many new engagements, I'd like to reiterate how important it is to keep certain things in mind when selecting your attendants:

Selecting your Attendants

A romantic dinner and the question you’ve been waiting for is asked...”Will you marry me?”  You quickly answer “Yes”, and your head immediately starts filling with all kinds of thoughts.

You arrive home and start calling friends and family to inform them of the good news when someone asks “Can I be one of your bridesmaids?”  Of course, you immediately respond with an enthusiastic “yes”. 

This is the first item of wedding planning you probably will deal with.  Many brides don’t realize many of the issues involved with selecting attendants before they start inviting friends and family to be part of the wedding party.  Taking the time to answer a few questions will save them a lot of problems and heartaches.  These are some of the questions that need to be answered prior to asking someone to stand up with you.

1.     What style wedding do you want? 

2.    How many bridesmaids/attendants do you want?

a.    1-2 attendants = casual wedding

b.    3-4 attendants = semi formal wedding

c.    5 + attendants = formal wedding

Next are the questions you need to ask yourself about the people you’d like to be in the wedding party:

1.    Can they afford to be an attendant?   Typically, this would include the cost of the dress, if travel is involved, flight, hotel, expenses, a wedding gift and possibly shower gifts and last but not least, the cost of attending a bachelorette party.

It’s not often but on occasion, the bride’s family will cover these costs.  If you aren’t in a position to do so, be considerate of your bridesmaids especially when selecting their attire.  If you have someone you really want to be part of the wedding party that can’t afford costs, you can consider helping them out, quietly of course.  I’ve had brides put a set amount towards everyone’s dresses and then outright purchase the one for the bridesmaid who couldn’t afford it on the sly.  This way, everyone is included and treated fairly and you have not left out a special friend.

You, as the bride, can also help out by making your gift to your attendants, their jewelry and other accessories they need to complete their outfits. 

2.    How does everyone get along?  If you have one prima-donna in the crowd, you are asking for a lot of problems by the time the wedding comes around.  You want to have people who get along with each other as their main concern will be to help you!

 

3.    Don’t be hurt if someone says no.  They may feel their budget can’t stretch to cover all the expenses of being a bridesmaid.  If they do plan to attend the wedding, there are many other jobs they can assist with that won’t require out of pocket money. 

 

4.    Be reasonable about showers and bachelorette parties.  Many brides, today, like to go to exotic places like Mexico or Las Vegas.  Take your attendants into consideration as this may be a hardship on them. 

 

5.    Feel free to have a man stand up with you as its fine if a woman stands up with the groom.  Sometimes couples have brothers and sisters who they are extremely close to and want to have them as Maid or Man of Honor.  This is perfectly acceptable.  I’ve had all male attendants for brides and all female for grooms!  Men are willing to hold a bride’s bouquet, but do ask one of the women attendants to fluff your train! 

6.    If you are especially close to your mother or grandmother, you can also ask them to stand up with you.  The same for the groom if he’d like to include his father, grandfather, uncles etc.  This is also an honor for them!

 

Above all, remember who your attendants are!  These are people who are special to you and want to be part of your special day.  Treat them with love and respect.  They aren’t hired help.  You want them to enjoy your wedding as much as you do. 

For help in planning your wedding, contact Tanya at www.WeddingsbyTanya.com , Tanya@WeddingsbyTanya.com or call 303-779-0395.  I do travel to your site in or out of State and limit the number of weddings I do in a year.  Don't hesitate to contact me to see if your date is still available! 

WISHING EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY 2013!