I've decided to devote a corner of my blog to grooms. Watch each month for more tips. Here's the first addition.
GROOM’S CORNER
Groom’s have long felt that their place, in wedding planning, has been to dress up and show up. Guess what!!!!
This has changed.
Today’s modern groom realizes that his ideas and desires are also important. Gone are the days when the bride makes all the decisions, especially since more and more couples are paying for their own weddings.
What then should a groom plan on? First off, what is a groom responsible for?
Let’s start with the proposal. How and when generally puts a man into a cold sweat. Don’t worry, I’m here to help. Whether you want something simple, like a picnic in the park, or something complex, such as a trip to Hawaii, Las Vegas, Paris, I can also handle all the details to make it a perfect moment for the two of you. And, don’t forget the photographer and videographer. You want to capture each moment and emotion so you can add these to your wedding album and wedding video.
Now, what kind of ring do you want to give your special lady? It can be a diamond, colored diamond, a pearl, birthstone, actually any gemstone that may peak her fancy. Size? Some people will say you need to spend the equivalent to two month’s pay. Let common sense be your guide. Spend what you can afford. Keep in mind that if you purchase a beautiful, top grade quarter diamond, on your fifth, tenth, fifteenth or twentieth anniversary, you can surprise your bride with an upgrade to a larger stone. It’s the thought that counts, not the size. If your lady is more concerned about the size and how much is spent, take a step back and reassess your situation. Keep in mind the Four C’s – Carets, Color, Clarity and Cut. (For a wonderful resource, before buying a diamond, read How to Buy A Diamond by Fred Cuellar.)
Should your lady pick out the ring? If you want to surprise her, you can casually ask what she likes, maybe during a shopping trip, to get ideas. Before purchasing a ring, ask the jeweler about return policies if she doesn’t care for the mounting. In this case, present the ring, then the two of you go back to the store and she can select a mounting more to her liking. (I’ve actually orchestrated a proposal where the jeweler brought the ring to be presented with the understanding if she liked it, the groom would be purchasing it. If she didn’t like it, then the two of them would go into the store to select one she did like.)
If you want your bride to be to select her own ring, visit the jeweler ahead of time to talk with them about how much you want to spend so they will show rings only within the price range. Select your jeweler as you would a doctor. You want someone you can build a relationship with, as you will, no doubt, be purchasing additional jewelry items throughout your lifetime. You want someone you can trust, who you know will listen to what you want and who you know will deal upfront and honestly with you.
Okay, you’ve gotten down on one knee, popped the question, and she said yes…now what?
Here’s a list of what, traditionally, the groom and his family is responsible for…
Brides engagement/wedding rings.
Marriage License.
Ceremony official's fee (many times the bride’s family will pay this as well.)
(Going-away corsage for the bride if leaving directly on their honeymoon.)
Wedding gift for bride.
Gifts for best man and ushers
Wedding night suite
Rehearsal dinner
Honeymoon
Blood tests
Gloves, ties, and ascots for men in wedding party.
Attendants pay for:
Personal wedding attire.
Personal traveling expenses.
Personal hotel expenses
Why should you and your bride consider hiring a wedding coordinator?
Let me distinguish between a site coordinator (hotel wedding coordinator) and what I do. The hotel or site coordinator is just that. They are there for the benefit of the venue. I, on the other hand, am there to assist you and your bride with your planning by recommending qualified and proven vendors, working with you to figure out what to give your attendants, groomsmen, and even assist finding the right gift for your bride. I work with you both to be sure everything is in the order you want your day to be and then am on site to make sure it happens.
During your planning process, I’m available to assist with any questions, help you find a good tux shop, and even recommend a honeymoon spot.
Another important item I, as your wedding coordinator, do is to supply an extensive emergency kit. Buttons fall off, shirt necks don’t always fit or one of the groomsmen may have forgotten to brush his teeth. I can take care of all these things plus many more.
A good wedding coordinator is available to the groom as much as the bride. Groom’s love to surprise their brides with a lovely card, note or letter on their wedding day and I can be your “postman” to deliver it.
Have more questions about being a groom? Call me at 303-779-0395 or email me at tporterweddsetc@hotmail. I’m always happy to meet you over coffee, the lunch hour, after hours to assist you any way I can to allow you to enjoy your engagement and wedding planning process.
Yes, grooms, you are a very important part of the wedding…remember it’s your wedding too!!!
